Weakness

I know that I'm a weak person, but I just realized how weak I am. We could look back for something but we can't look back for some certain things. Recently, I even think about if I can handle the life now. My motivation in the past is to have the chance which now I have, I doubt indeed because a number of things arise newly. I'm weak, so that those things could change my minds, my attitude quickly.

Every circumstance which happened to me is useless? Happiness, sadness and fortune combines to a same timeline? I even don't know why and what do I doubt, maybe those things are not so significant, but influence me a lot. I am losing self, self is self, it represents selfish, sins etc. If this is true, losing self is bad, just in the way to be a real one. Who can let me down, just my sins, they drag me to the valley. Why should I not be satisfy with what I got, instead of be sad for those I lost.